Life in a blended family certainly has its ups and downs. Being the step-mom in that family can be trying to say the least. This holiday season I decided to put all of my worries and frustrations aside for the sake of the kids.
Recently my husbands’ ex-wife went through a bad break up and is living with a friend of hers. The first thing I thought of when I saw her after the break up was “we need to invite her over for Christmas morning.” I told my husband it was just the right thing to do. I invited her and she readily agreed. So 6 am Christmas morning, my husband, his ex-wife and myself watched our kids walk down the stairs to see what Santa brought. Their squeals of delight were off the charts. Our kids didn’t question why we were all together, they thought it was normal. And all I could think of was how great for them. This is how it should be. They should know nothing other than the three of us coming together and doing things as a family the way we have come to know it. They are so lucky to have three parents that love them more than anything in the world and have no idea that over the years we have fought horribly with each other to get where we are today.
My husband has been adamant that the kids would never be around for the ugliness, the hatred and the craziness that divorce brings. And although the three of us have had to swallow pride, grit our teeth and grin and bear it more often than we can count, it has been all worth it for where we are today. Are there still arguments? Absolutely. Do we still disagree on raising the kids? Of course. Do we do the best we can to make their life the most normal it can be? Every single day.
So yes I invited her to my living room for Christmas. And I wouldn’t change a thing. In fact, we agreed that is how it should be every year. Why should any parent miss those precious moments? And why should the kids have it any other way?