Paul’s ex-wife has a need to be in control. She is used to getting her way, manipulates situations to suit her needs, and takes advantage of anyone to benefit her. This particular difference of opinion was no different.
As I mentioned, Paul is a teacher, meaning plenty of time off from work throughout the year. Paul felt that anytime he was home the kids should be with him if she was working. She felt they should go to daycare. (close to her home and a way for Paul to give her more money).
If you can call anything a win in a divorce, we won the court battle. The judge saw it Paul’s way and felt that at anytime the kids could be with a parent, that is where they should be. Custody was rearranged to account for this and the battle was over…for now.
Remember I said her main goal was to punish. He may have won in court, but that didn’t’ mean she would make it easy. At that time we were living approximately 25 minutes away and did a lot of driving to pick up and drop off. She was still minimally inconvenienced. Many people in our lives looked at this time as giving in to her, making it easy for her, or whatever. But Paul believed if it meant spending time with the kids, then so be it. He’d drive to the ends of the earth if he could be with them.
Some battles aren’t worth fighting. That has been my hardest lesson throughout all of this. I want to fight at every turn, Paul has to be pushed to the limit. In time, I have realized he may have a better approach. So sometimes you have to be patient and wait for it to unfold for you. There will be a time to fight, just don’t choose every single battle. I was so unhappy when I let every single thing she did get to me. We knew she wouldn’t change so we had to wait. I never stopped collecting recordings and evidence and 2 years later we were back in court. This time, her bad choices and her selfish attitude, worked in our favor yet again.